The New Recruit
by gsrfan1
Summary: The graveyard shift gets a new recruit, but how will that affect the ones already there?P.S. I know chapters 3 and 4 have the same title. it's a mistake i'll fix later
1. Uneasy introduction

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The New Recruit

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By **GSRfan**

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Rating: Pg13

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Category: Angst/Romance

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Spoilers: BfY, Tf, CnB, TAIE

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Summary: The graveyard shift gets a new recruit, but how will that affect the ones already there?

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Disclaimer: I do not own any members of the CSI cast, although if I did what fun we would have.

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Author's Note: Thoughts indicated in **bold**.I stole this idea from one of Moggie's fics, thanks. Hope you enjoy this.

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Chapter one – Uneasy Introductions

"I'll be in autopsy." Grissom's voice came over the sound of his pager beeping.

"Sure thing." Warrick called as Grissom began to leave.

"You coming Sara?" Grissom asked as she set her coffee cup down.

Sara looked up from the table and opened her mouth to speak, but was promptly cut off by Warrick.

"Actually Griss, do you mind if I tag along instead? I got to talk to the Doc about something." **-Please say yes, please say yes!-**

"Oh, Okay." Grissom answered, confused by Warrick's sudden interest in the Doc and disappointed Sara wouldn't be with him until later.

"So, what do you want me to do instead?" Sara asked, also masking disappointment.

"Right," Grissom thought as he adjusted his glasses. "See if Greg's done with the swabs I gave him and then see if Hodges has anything yet."

"Lucky me. Greg's been looking at me weird all day. It's like he knows something I don't and he can't wait to tell. Well, you boys have fun." Sara joked as she left the room.

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-I'd have more fun with you- Grissom thought before realising he shouldn't be thinking such things at work.

When Sara was at a safe distance, Warrick began his interrogation. "Are you crazy or something?!"

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-Great, what did I do now?- "What are you talking about?" Grissom asked, taken aback at the question. "I know Hodges is obnoxious, but Sara can handle him."

Warrick looked at the older man walking alongside him to see if he was joking and sighed when he realised he was being serious. "Man, you really are clueless, aren't you?"

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-Great, Catherine's been talking again-

After reaching the morgue and still not getting a response, Warrick elaborated as they put on their scrubs. "You were gonna bring Sara down here with you." he offered hoping realisation of his boss' potential mistake would hit.

"Yes, I'm aware of that Warrick." Grissom said, apparently still in the dark.

"Don't you think that would be uncomfortable for her, considering?" he replied, not believing Grissom still didn't know.

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-Considering? What's that supposed to mean? She has no reason not to come down here… unless… She's dating David. No… she wouldn't… would she?-

"Considering what?" he finally asked. "Can you just get to the point?"

But before Warrick got the chance to answer they were interrupted.

"Oh, there you guys are. We've been waiting for you."

For the first time Grissom wished that his operation gave him the ability to choose what he could hear, because right now that voice belonged to someone he would love to block out.

"Hank?!" he almost choked on the word as he turned around.

"Dr. Grissom. Nice to meet you again." Hank said, offering his hand as though nothing had happened. Grissom didn't refuse his hand however… he avoided it. "I'm the new coroner's assistant. Pays better than an EMT. I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other."

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-Not if I can help it- Warrick and Grissom both mentally screamed.

Grissom couldn't find any words, so offered a weak smile and turned to Warrick.

Noticing his distress, Warrick moved the situation along even though he would rather kiss his ass. Politely and through gritted teeth, "Just give us a sec." Not surprised by this, Warrick looked back at Grissom.

Hank was expecting the silent treatment from them and quietly left the room.

"_That_ Grissom, was my point. Can you believe the nerve of that guy? I can't believe you didn't know. Doesn't Cavallo tell you anything? Anyway, Sara doesn't know and I didn't think running into him down here would be the best way for her to find out."

"Yeah, good thinking." Grissom nodded, trying to sound impartial when he really felt like screaming. "We should go." he said, approaching the door, signalling that the conversation was over. "So Doc," he began, avoiding an eager Hank's gaze. "What do you have for us?"

TBC


	2. Facing reality

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Chapter 2 – Facing reality

Leaving the autopsy room, Grissom hoped that Warrick had been paying attention, because he couldn't remember a thing.

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-At least I'll have the coroners report to look at later-

As usual, he had spent the time going through various scenarios in his head although, unlike the usual, all of these scenarios involved breaking Hank's neck and various other appendages.

Warrick left Grissom to change while he went to fill Sara in on what they'd learned, but Grissom wished he'd stayed when Hank came up to talk to him.

"Dr. Grissom…" he began.

Normally this would be the time Grissom invited people to lose the title, but not this jackass.

"I just wanted to tell you what an honour it is to work alongside you. Sara used to…" He didn't get to finish his sentence as Grissom snapped his head from looking at the ground to give him a look that could only mean. 'How dare you say her name?'

"Right. I know you must have heard about what happened, but I swear I never meant to hurt her. I… I…" Hank stopped, realising that no matter what he said, it wouldn't be enough.

"I wouldn't dare assume that I can speak on Sara's behalf," Grissom began. "but I can speak on behalf of the lab, and yes, before you ask, they do know what you did. We'll work alongside you. Frankly, we don't have a choice in the matter, but that's all, no fun and games, no friendships… You hurt someone I**– ** we all care about and you will never be forgiven."

Hank looked dumbfounded. Sara had always said that Grissom wasn't one for words, but he could certainly say them when he wanted to.

"That's all I have to say on the matter, so if you'll excuse me, I have a case to work." With that said, Grissom picked up his file and left the room. He stopped on the other side of the door and let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding.

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-My god! Was that me?! How am I going to tell her? Should I tell her? God, what am I going to do?-

The atmosphere in the break room could literally have been cut with a knife, Grissom couldn't prove it, but he would've sworn that everyone, except Sara, kept looking up at him expectantly and hiding it when he noticed them, even Greg seemed more edgy around him than usual.

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-I guess they know about our newest addition and are expecting me to do something. Well it's now or never I guess-

"Sara." he began, hoping the nervousness in his voice didn't show through. "Could you go and ask Doc Robbins for the final autopsy report? There are few things that don't seem to add up."

"Sure." Sara smiled, not realising how terrible it made him feel. "Be back in a few." she said, not understanding why everyone was looking at Grissom funny.

"What are you doing?" Nick exhaled in disbelief. He saw Sara as a sister and knew Grissom saw her as more than a colleague despite his actions and couldn't understand why he would deliberately hurt her.

Grissom didn't look up from his files, which only served to anger the group even more.

"Don't even try and play the deaf card." Catherine added, joining in the questioning. "We know you can hear us perfectly well. How can you do this to her?"

"Do what to her?" he started defensively. **-Jesus, why is everyone blaming me? It's not my fault he's working here- **"Look, she's got to find out sooner or later." Grissom sighed, shortly joined by Warrick who had realised what Grissom was doing.

"You figure letting her find out now will have less damage than her finding out later." Warrick theorised, getting a nod from Grissom.

"How'd you figure that one out?" Catherine asked, clearly confused.

"If we leave it and she finds out on her own, not only will she be pissed at Hank, but she'll be furious that we were keeping secrets from her." Warrick explained.

"Still doesn't mean this is going to hurt her any less." Nick continued.

"She can be mad at me if she wants. I can handle that." **-Yeah right, who am I kidding?- **"But Hank works for the coroner's office, not CSI. I can't do anything and I don't have any control over who gets hired down there. That's Al's department." Grissom justified, hoping the others would accept it, even though he barely did himself.

"I can't believe you guys." Catherine protested, "I understand it's not our fault that jerk is here, but do you think treating Sara like this is going to make it any better? You should have told her the truth straight away and not played these stupid games." she said, emphasising the word _games _as she looked at Grissom, hoping he would understand the subtext of the message, but from the look on his face she guessed he hadn't.

"I'm going back to work. I don't want to be here when Sara gets back. She is going to be so hurt that you didn't just tell her. I hope you're proud of yourself Gil."

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-Man, does she know how to make a guy feel worse- Grissom sighed. **-I was just trying to do what was right, but who am I kidding. I was taking the easy way out. I could never have told her face to face and now I have to face the consequences-**

TBC


	3. The truth is revealed

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Chapter 3 – Busted

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-Why is everyone acting so weird today? First Greg, now Grissom. But he's always slightly odd. I never…- Sara's musings were cut short as she rounded the corner and ran head on into a tall muscular frame coming the opposite way. **-Maybe today isn't so bad after all-**

Without looking up at the stranger she said, "Sorry, didn't see you there."

"Sara?!!" came a voice all too familiar, making her stomach turn.

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-Damn, maybe today is bad- "Hank!!! What the… why… where are you…" she stuttered, unable to form coherent sentences from the shock.

"What are you doing here?" she began again.

"I'm just taking the coroners report up to Dr. Grissom." he said, avoiding eye contact.

-God, he seems so calm, like he didn't turn my life upside down. Unfeeling bastard. Oh, I could just…… calm down, that's what I need. Stay nice and calm. Don't let him see what he's doing to you. Yes I can do this-

"What? Why would the Doc send you?" Sara questioned, still in shock at seeing him. **-Why isn't he wearing his uniform?-**

"Why wouldn't he?" Hank paused, then continued. "I'm his assistant… you didn't know?" he said slowly as realisation hit.

"No, I didn't." Sara almost sighed, **-So that was Greg's secret. Damn, who else knows?-** "Well, I guess we'll be working together, um … I was supposed to come get that." she said, motioning to the file in his hands, "I'll take it for you."

"I thought Grissom would've told you." he explained, realising it was a mistake when he saw the look in her eyes, clearly stating that she had thought that too.

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-Oh shit- He thought. -I shouldn't have said that-

Walking away from him, she heard Hank call her name. She could tell by his tone that he 'wanted to talk'. **-Just when I though it couldn't get any worse-**

"I know this isn't going to be easy," he started.

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-Whose fault is that?- Sara thought, raising her eyebrows at the understatement.

"You must hate me and I don't blame you. I won't ask you to forgive, because I know you can't, but I really want this job and I hope we can look past what happened and work together."

"You are so vain, you know that? I don't hate you, Hank. I don't think of you enough to do that. You are nothing to me."

Sara said, knowing she should have stopped there, but she couldn't. "To think that I would let what you did interfere with my work is not only insulting to me, but over flattering to you. Which just shows how insecure you must be if you think my influence has anything to do with you staying here. If you felt you were good at your job, you wouldn't have those fears." she rambled, leaving him speechless.

"I'd love to stay here and chat." she added before he spoke again, "but I have work to do." **-And a boss to kill- **"Goodbye."

With that, she turned and left leaving Hank standing in the middle of the corridor feeling like a complete idiot.

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-Well that was relatively painless. At least I have all my limbs. I can't say so much for Grissom though. Boy is he gonna get it- He thought before heading back to the morgue.

TBC


	4. Busted

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Chapter 4 – Busted

Grissom flinched as the autopsy report came slamming down on the table, barely missing his coffee cup. Looking up he saw the fury in her eyes, the reprimand he was about to utter, frozen on his lips. **-Shit, this was a bad idea-**

Sara stormed out without a word, leaving a trail of anger with every step.

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-Come on Gil, be a man, don't let her walk away- "Sara, what is wrong with you?" he called after her somewhat harshly, considering he knew exactly what was wrong.

He mentally slapped himself.** -Oh yeah, that's a good question, idiot-**

Sara stopped still in her tracks and spun to look at him, seemingly unaware of the attention they were getting. She glared at him, but then let out a soft laugh.

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-Good, maybe she's calmed down- He foolishly thought.

"Grissom, you're priceless you know that? Of all the things you've done to hurt me, this one takes first place, and you have the nerve to ask me what's wrong. You're the one with the problem, not me." she sighed, walking away.

-Oh well, this is just great- Grissom sighed in return as he got to his feet. "Don't you lot have work to do?" he said, noticing the myriad of lab techs that had filtered into the corridor, also noticing Catherine, who was sporting a particularly smug 'I told you so look'.

Rounding the corner, he caught up with the hurricane that was Sara and grabbed her by the wrist, leading her towards his office.

"Grissom, let go of me!" she demanded, but Grissom didn't loosen his grip, afraid that she was going to run again. "Please." she pleaded. "You're hurting me."

Grissom's hand left her arm quicker than lightning and guilt washed over him at the look in her eyes.

"What do you want Grissom?" She started the conversation, eager to leave it.

"I take it you saw Hank…" he began, but stopped, not sure how to continue.

"Look, if you bought me here to tell me things I already know, I have better things to do." Sara snapped, heading for the door.

"Please, just wait." Grissom begged, reaching out to touch her, but retreating, afraid he might hurt her again.

-Since when do you care about hurting her?- His subconscious kicked in, causing him to close his eyes in order to shut it out.

Seeing his obvious discomfort, Sara couldn't force herself to be mad at him, no matter how much she wanted to. "Yes, I saw him." She said suddenly. "But that's not why I'm mad and you know it. I couldn't care less about him. I care that you…" She couldn't finish what she was saying, the look in his eyes going straight to her heart.

"I know that I should have told you, instead of letting you find out like that, but I… I just…" he sighed, looking at the floor. "I didn't want to be the one that hurt you."

"Why not? You've had plenty of practice." she blurted out before she could stop herself. Pain flickered across his face. She knew she'd gone too far, but it was about time he understood what he did to her.

"I want you to know… I didn't hire him and if I could get him out of here, I would." he said trying to justify the situation.

"You don't get it do you? I don't care about working with him or being near him… I see him at crime scenes all the time…. it doesn't bother me, but it interests me that it bothers you. I mean, you have no reason to dislike him, he didn't cheat on you."

"What?! I have every reason to hate him Sara." He let slip. **-He hurt you-**

"Why?" She pried, hoping she knew the reason why.

"He… uh…um… he…"** -God, just tell her- **"Messed up the team dynamic. You were different when you were with him." **-Oh yeah, you told her, coward-**

"You mean, I wasn't miserable?" She countered. "You're right, the complete bastard. I should hate him for making me happy too. How dare he?" She mocked him.

-He made her happy? Why can't I do that?- "He almost got you into trouble in court." he added, shocked that Sara was so okay about the situation and him wanting to make her mad at Hank.

"Ah, so you know about that? Well, as I recall, they also thought I was sleeping with you to get a better job, and I didn't start hating you."

"What?"

"You didn't know that?" She asked, suddenly embarrassed she had revealed _that _secret.

"Sara, I don't know what…"

"To do about this?" She finished for him. "Yeah, heard that before. Look, I can work with Hank, if and when I have to. It's not going to be a problem for me, don't worry about."

"It's not 'it' I'm worried about." he blushed, shocked at this revelation.

"Well, if that cryptic comment is meant to mean you care about me, thank you. I appreciate your concern, but I don't need it. I haven't had it for the past three years and I think I can make it through the next three without it."

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-Why are you doing this to me? I convince myself I don't need you and then you tell me you care? Damn you?- Without another word, she left the room, not really understanding what had just happened. **-How did I go from hating him to feeling sorry for him? Damn his blue eyes, they can get me to do anything-**

Standing alone his office, Grissom couldn't process what had happened.** -I told her that I care and she doesn't want me to. Why?-**

-Because she's right, it is too late- He answered himself. In a bizarre turn of events, Grissom found himself thanking Hank, because without him he would have gone on not realising that he had blown all his chances.

-No, this can't be the end. I won't let it be too late- He told himself as he set to work.

TBC


	5. Three's a crowd

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Chapter 5 – Three's a crowd

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Spoilers: TTTD

Grissom sat alone in his office like he always did before shift. This was his time to think, mainly about Sara, but a case would pop into his mind every now and then too.

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Knock Knock knock

"Come in?" Grissom called, confused. No-one ever knocked on his office door before coming in. "Catherine, why did you knock on my door?"

"I wanted to give you the chance to tell me to get lost before I came in. I'm sorry about before, I was out of line. I just hate seeing Sara get treated like crap. I'm the first to admit I did it for long enough, but I'm trying to make up for it."

Grissom smiled, he hadn't expected an apology and it wasn't Catherine's thing. "Don't worry about, I deserved it. I should have told her outright. I can't believe I messed this up."

"Why don't you just tell her?" Catherine asked, leaning back in the chair.

"Tell her what, that I'm an idiot? I think she already knows that."

"No Gil, that you love her." Catherine stated, hoping she wasn't wrong about this. **-How can I be? I have eyes!-**

Grissom's eyed widened and his jaw almost hit the floor. He couldn't think of what to say that wouldn't confirm what she had just said. "I don't know what you're talking about." He finally said. **-Oh yeah Gil, that was convincing. She has a kid, she is so gonna know you're lying-**

"It's simple. You love Sara, Sara loves you. Do I have to draw you a diagram?" Catherine teased, seeing the blush rise in his cheeks. "Okay, so you want to pretend you don't, but let me give you some advice. Stop pushing her away, because one day, she might not come back."

Catherine left him alone in his office to collect his thoughts before he re-joined the others, who were at that moment annoying the hell out of Sara about Hank.

"Seriously guys, I'm fine." Sara repeated for the third time. "You guys seem more bothered than I am."

"Yeah, because we're gonna have to struggle not to kill him in the middle of autopsy." Nick answered.

"I appreciate it I really do, but I can handle this." Sara protested.

"Well, that's good." Grissom's voice came from the doorway. "Because the Doc wants to see us in autopsy."

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-Oh God, I can't handle this- Sara screamed inwardly. **-Why did I say that?-**

"Nick and Catherine, you've got a 419 at the mirage. Warrick you're with me and Sara."

As they left the break room, Sara avoided Grissom's gaze. She was still embarrassed about their discussion/argument yesterday. She walked slightly ahead, leaving Warrick with Grissom

"I hope you know what you're doing." Warrick warned.

"So do I." Grissom admitted, moving to catch up with Sara. "Hey." he offered weakly.

"Hi." Sara answered even quieter, giving a strained smile.

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-Damn it, she's not okay. Why did I listen to her?- They continued walking together. **-Because you're an idiot- **His inner voice mocked him.

-You think?- He internally groaned. "You don't have to come." he told her softly.

"I know." Sara answered. **-Yes I do- **"I'm okay." she lied. -**Damn, why can't I tell him the truth?-**

Opening the door to the morgue, Sara felt a rush of dread go through her. **-Oh grow up, it's going to be fine. I hope-**

"Sara?" Doc. Robbins did a double take when he noticed who had entered. "I didn't know you were coming." he said a little too quickly.

"Relax." Sara smiled. "I already know."

"I'm sorry. If I had any choice I wouldn't…"

"I know, its fine. Shall we get started?" she suggested as Grissom and Warrick entered, shortly followed by Hank.

Sara breathed in deeply when she saw him. He smiled at her and she couldn't help but cringe at the fact that she used to welcome it.

"Right," the Doc continued matter of factly. "I called you because I noticed this tattoo on the body. It was covered by blood earlier and I thought you should see it, maybe its gang related."

Grissom nodded in agreement as Hank moved around the table to lift the sheet, coming closer to Sara, which caused her to move and stand next to Grissom, who at this point was merely glaring at Hank.

"Impressive tattoo." Warrick admired, trying to dispel the tension. "Good quality work."

"But what does it say?" Grissom asked, unable to decipher the symbol on the man's shoulder.

"Loyalty." Hank answered.

"Excuse me?" Grissom asked, trying to hide the hate in his voice as he spoke.

"The symbol, it means loyalty." he explained.

All men turned to Sara as they heard her breath out as though amused by what he had just said.

"What?" Hank questioned nervously, aware there were three guys in the room, who would gladly kick his ass.

"Nothing." Sara said, not wanting to get into a fight, especially with Grissom around.

"No, tell me, if you have a problem with my work I'd like to know." Hank pushed.

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-I miss David- Grissom thought. -He didn't cause this trouble. I wonder if days will give him back-

Sara became aware of the others looking between her and Hank, aware of the extreme tension and Warrick clenching his fist as though he was holding back. Grissom on the other hand just looked pissed off.

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-Great, annoying Grissom is the last thing I needed. I should have kept quiet-

In fact, Grissom wasn't angry at her, he was impressed. So far she had managed to keep personal feelings out of the morgue and it was Hank pushing, not her.

"I think we all know it's not your work I have a problem with." Sara snapped. **-Stupid girl, why the hell did you say that now? Grissom is gonna kill me-**

Grissom looked down to hide his slight disappointment. She had slipped, but it wasn't too bad. Sara was a professional, she'd stop now. At least he hoped she would. He didn't want to think of what he'd have to do if she didn't.

"Then what the hell _is_ your problem?" Hank shouted.

"Hey, now isn't the time or the place." Al pitched in, re-covering the body and glancing at Warrick for support, but receiving glares from Hank and Sara.

"Yeah, come on Sara." Warrick added. "Lets gol"

"No." she said stubbornly. "Hank wants to know, so I'll tell him."

"Sara." Grissom started warningly.

She glared at him, not wanting his input. "What? Calm down? Keep your emotions out of the lab? Well I can't. Like I said before I'm not like you!"

Grissom just stood open mouthed, shocked she had said that to him again and in such an open place. **-I knew this was a bad idea-**

"You want to know what I was laughing at?" Sara asked, turning back to Hank. "I'll tell you, it was your ability to recognise the word loyalty so easily when you sure as hell don't know what it means."

Hank stilled his reply, embarrassed that Sara had verbally attacked in him in front of people he would have to work with _and_ that she was right.

Sara suddenly became very self-conscious at the four men staring at her, all for very different reasons. **-Great, if he didn't think you were a head case before, he does now- **Sara told herself, before walking out of the room, leaving them to reflect on what had happened.

"Crap!!" Sara screamed as she hit her locker. **-How could you be so stupid?! Grissom is gonna so be pissed at you-**

-What's new?- she answered herself.

"This time he was right." she breathed sadly. "This does bother me."

At this realisation, Sara sat on the bench and placed her head in her hands and willed herself not to cry.

Grissom, who was witnessing this through the glass panel in the door, didn't know whether to comfort her or scream at her for her outburst. **-I can't blame her. He deserved it- **He thought with a heavy sigh.** -I never believed in the cliché before, but three is definitely a crowd-**

TBC


	6. Consequences

**Chapter 6 – Consequences**

Opening the door to the morgue, Sara scanned the room for signs of Hank and let out a sigh when he was no-where to be found.

"Can I help you?" Doc. Robbins said from behind her.

Sara spun on her heels, almost falling into him. "Jesus Doc! You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry." he smiled. "What can I do for you? I didn't expect to see you for a while."

Sara blushed slightly, remembering her earlier outburst. "I came to apologise. I never should have acted like that. It was unprofessional and I'm really sorry." she said truthfully.

"Hiding from Grissom then." the doc smiled, reading between the lines.

"That too." Sara confessed. "If he didn't hate me before, I bet he does now. I am such an idiot."

"He doesn't hate you Sara, he never has." Al answered, not realising Grissom was on the other side of the door listening in.

Grissom had figured that Sara would feel guilty and want to apologise, so he'd headed there in the hopes of catching her.

"Try telling him that." Sara answered sombrely.

**-God, she thinks I hate her-** Grissom felt his heart splitting in two. Keeping his distance was supposed to help her, not hurt her. **-There's no way she's going to forgive me now-**

"Anyway, I better go before I piss him off anymore, see you later."

"Yeah, bye." Al said, feeling sympathy for her. She used to be happy and lively, but now she was miserable.

**-Crap, got to hide- **Grissom thought.

"Grissom?" Sara questioned, almost walking into him.

**-Too late- **He thought.** -Damn, those words are going to haunt me for the rest of my life-**

"Sara? What are you doing here?" Grissom asked, feigning ignorance.

"Apologising. I'm glad you're here actually, because I need to talk to you." Sara said, the look in her eyes rooting him to the spot despite the instinct to run at those words. "I need to apologise to you... for two reasons." Sara began.

Grissom got a confused look on his face when she said 'two reasons'. He could only think of one and even then he didn't want her apologise for yelling at Hank. If he weren't the boss, he would have done it himself.

"Firstly," Sara continued. "My behaviour was unprofessional and I should know better. Secondly and most importantly, what I said to you was cruel and uncalled for. I had no right to speak to you the way I did. I know you have emotions, and a long time ago you used to let me see them. I'm sorry." she finished, tears welling in her eyes and her voice almost a whisper.

**-Okay, now remember-** Grissom told himself. **-Be strong and authoritive, but caring. She thinks you hate her. Prove her wrong-**

"Sara." Grissom began, but was stopped by Sara smiling. "What?"

"You do that nearly every time you talk to me." **-All 3 times a year of it-** "... Start sentences with my name." she said seeing his confusion.

"Oh, do I?" he asked, knowing full well that he did. He loved her name. "You never call me mine." he countered.

"Sure I do?" Sara answered, clearly confused, but grateful he was putting the morning's incident behind them.

"No, you don't. Contrary to popular belief, my name is not Grissom, its Gil. Catherine and Brass seem to know that, but everyone else doesn't." he explained. "Why don't you call me it?"

**-Because it's way too personal-** Sara thought, but told him one of the other reasons for it. "Because I did once, in San Francisco and you looked at me like I'd lost my mind, so I figured you didn't like me doing that so I stopped."

"Oh." he said, remembering the occasion in a different light. He was looking at her in surprise not anger.

-**Well, considering she thinks you hate her, I think you need to work on the looks you give people-** His mind told him.

"Anyway, you were going to say something before we got off track, what was it?" Sara queried.

**-Excellent question-** Grissom thought.

"Oh, right, yeah. I uh, I was gonna say um..." he stuttered. "Don't worry about earlier, you were upset, it was the first time you had to work with him and it had to be difficult. Just, next time try and keep it together or we're gonna have a serious problem, okay?" -**There, that wasn't too hard, caring, but authoritive-**

**-Congratulations Gil, it only took ten years to figure it out-** His head mocked him.

"Thanks." Sara smiled, melting Grissom's doubts. "Actually, I think I have a solution to the problem, give me a day and it'll be sorted."

"Great." Grissom smiled, leading her up the corridor half hoping the solution didn't involve Hank being hurt in any way. Lab insurance didn't cover angry ex-girlfriends.

TBC


	7. Beginning of the end

**Chapter 7 – Beginning of the end**

**[Spoilers: Butterflied]**

"Sara, what is this?" Grissom said, looking up from the piece of paper he held in his hand.

"It's what is says." Sara replied.

A wave of dread passed over him as he realised this conversation was all too familiar.

**-No, please not again!!**-

"It says you're resigning." he said in disbelief.

"I am." Sara confirmed.

Silence filled the room as Sara moved closer and sat down.

"Please don't tell me this is about Hank." Grissom pleaded.

"Okay, I won't". Sara joked trying to lighten the mood.

"I'm being serious Sara." Grissom chided her.

"You think I'm not? Look, I know I said I could handle this, I honestly thought I could, but I can't."

"Okay, so don't go to autopsy anymore. You don't have to leave... the lab..." he stopped, seeing the anger appear in her eyes.

"Screw the lab Grissom!" Sara shouted, rising from her chair. "You think I stay because of the lab, I could work anywhere. Sure, nowhere as good as this, but that isn't why I stay."

"Why do you stay?" Grissom asked.

"Why do you think?" Sara questioned. "I stay for the same reason I came here, the same reason I got started in forensics and the same reason I am who I am. I stay for you."

Grissom breathed in sharply as his mind reeled at the importance as what she had just said. **-Choose your words carefully Gil, don't screw this up, it's not too late-**

"Then stay for me now." Grissom said standing and approaching her.

Sara bowed her head and looked at the floor, trying to suppress her hurt. "God Grissom, you can't imagine how long I've waited for you to say that, or anything for that matter, but it doesn't solve my problem."

"Please Sara, I know I've been an idiot these past few years, but if you left I don't know what I'd do." Grissom said, not sure if he was actually saying the words.

"You'll get over it. I know I could avoid autopsy, but I can't let him take away part of my job."

"But you can let him take away all of it?" Grissom asked, taking her hands in his.

"No. If I left, I'd still have my job, just somewhere else." she explained.

"Sara, I wont let him hurt you again. I promise. Do you trust me?"

"With my life." Sara smiled weakly, staring into his eyes. "But that's not enough."

"What? How is that not enough? I ... I ... love you Sara, is that enough?" he pleaded.

"No." Sara cried.

"No?" Grissom breathed. -**What? I finally tell her and it's not enough! What the hell does she want?-**

"You misunderstand, yes, it's enough, and I think you know I love you too."

**-Thank god! -** Grissom screamed.

"I said no, because I can't believe you're saying it now. When I've finally convinced myself that I don't need it."

**-What did I do to deserve this-** Sara thought, feeling ill.

"I screwed up in the past, but I'm going to fix it. We can be together. Forget about Hank and all my previous inhibitions, I want to be with you." he whispered, lightly brushing his lips over hers.

"I can't. I trust you with my life, but I can't trust you with my heart. You've broken it so many times before, I'm sorry." she whispered in his ear before kissing him softly.

**-What the hell is going on? -** Grissom wondered. Here he was kissing her, holding her, like he'd dreamed of so many times and she was saying goodbye.

There was a dark finality to the kiss. Grissom knew it was the end.

**-How can the beginning be the end?-**

Sara walked to the door, turned and leaned on the frame as she had so many times before. "Please believe me when I say, I'm not leaving because of you or us. I can't work here with him. I'll work out the rest of the week and them I'm gone."

Grissom punched the wall as she left holding back tears, hearing her whisper. "Goodbye... Gil."

Grissom's heart wrenched at the use of his name. It made it real. He sunk into his chair and laid his head in his hands.

Sara walked, almost ran, down the corridor to the locker room. Running into the rest of the team on the way.

"Hey Sara! Where's the fire?" Nick called.

"Sara honey, what's wrong?" Catherine asked, recognising the signs of wiped away tears.

Sara just stared at them all in turn, realising how much she was going to miss them and carried on down the corridor.

"What was that about?" Warrick asked.

"I don't know, but I have a feeling a certain supervisor will." Catherine answered, realising the direction Sara had been coming from.

They followed Catherine to Grissom's office, full of anger for what he had done to Sara again, but stopped when they saw him broken in his office, head on his desk and bruising appearing on his knuckles and books on the floor. While Sara had been gone he did a little rearranging.

"Gil!" Catherine exclaimed, walking over to him, leaving the guys in the doorway. "What's wrong?"

Nick recognised Sara's handwriting on Grissom's desk and passed the offending letter around, realisation setting in.

"Oh god!" Warrick shouted. "That son of bitch is gonna pay. I can't believe he ruined her life again."

Catherine was still watching Grissom, who hadn't moved since they had arrived, realising something more had to have happened for him to react like this. Leaving his side, she whispered something to the guys and they left.

"Gil," she whispered. ".Talk to me."

"I told her Cath." he sighed. "I told her."

"Yeah, I figured that. What happened, was she mad?"

"No, she was happy. I think she felt the same way, but she said she couldn't trust me not to break her heart. I can't blame her."

He looked up and Catherine saw the hurt in his eyes. **-Jesus, I've never seen him like this- **"Give her time. She's afraid of hurting you too. She heard what you said to Lurie you know..."

"What?!" Grissom asked, hurt turning to shock, partly because she'd heard and that she'd confided in Catherine. "Damn, no wonder she kept her distance. What am I going to do? She said she's not leaving because of 'this'." he said, knowing Catherine wouldn't understand the reference. "It's because of Hank."

"Like I said, give her time, let her go, that way she can learn to trust you again. If she stays here with him it'll just get worse."

"How can this be worse?" Grissom asked in disbelief.

"She could still think you hate her. At least this way, once she works the Hank situation out, there'll be a way forward for you. Don't give up, it's not too late."

Grissom's spirits rose at this, and he felt a little ashamed at admitting defeat so easily.

**-This isn't the end-** He corrected himself. **-It's the beginning. Now I just need to convince Sara of that-**

TBC


	8. Chapter 8 justice is served

**Chapter 8 – Justice is served**

Entering the lab that morning Grissom was surprisingly happy considering the events of the previous day. Despite Sara's refusal of his affections, he wasn't prepared to give in, not this time. He was so deep in thought he didn't notice Hank coming towards him.

"Dr. Grissom?" he said for the second time.

Realising he was being spoken to, Grissom focused on the man before him and his good mood shattered.

**-Great. What does he want?-**

"Hank," he answered as civilly as he could. "I have nothing to say to you." he added as he walked away.

Hank grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back towards him, winning a glare from Grissom. "Good, because I need you to listen." Hank said, determined to say what he had risked being beaten to a pulp by Sara to say.

Grissom tried to pull away, but his adversary was stronger than he looked. Walking to his office, Grissom was given many confused glances as Hank followed him.

"What the hell?" he heard from many a lab tech. Despite Sara's attempts at a private life; everyone knew what Hank had done to her.

"Close the door." Grissom said curtly.

"Thank you for taking the time to..." Hank began.

"Quit it with the pleasantries would you? Just get to the point before I change my mind."

**-What does Sara see in this guy?-** Hank questioned himself. "I heard Sara was leaving." he explained, earning a blank expression from Grissom.

"So?" Grissom said, sitting down at his desk, determined not to make this easy.

"So," Hank continued. "I wanted to let you know I'm going to leave instead. I want her to feel comfortable here. I never should have come. The last thing I want to do is hurt her again. Believe it or not I'm a nice guy." he said, smiling.

Grissom stated at this clearly absurd statement, "Why are telling me this? Your job status doesn't mean anything to me."

"But Sara does." Hank said plainly. Grissom looked at the floor, embarrassed that Hank could see straight through him. "I figured you could let her know for me, as her personal bodyguards wont let me anywhere near her."

Grissom smiled at the thought of Nick, Warrick and Greg keeping him away from her. "I'll see what I can do. I'm not her favourite person right now." Grissom answered, surprising himself by confiding in the last person he had ever thought of talking to.

"I find that hard to believe." Hank replied, "Any fool can see she's crazy about you."

**-Except me it seems-** Grissom sighed.

"Well, I should get going." Hank said, realising he had been there too long. Turning around, he almost ran into Catherine who had just heard about his appearance at the lab and come to verify the story.

"What was that all about?" she asked.

Grissom said nothing, still unsure himself before sitting down to ready himself to re-tell all that happened.

"So, you better go tell her." Catherine added when he had filled her in.

"I know and I will." he sighed, anxious about seeing her. "Where is she?"

"Break room, the last I saw her. Staring at the coffee pot like she was waiting for it to do something miraculous."

**-Well, here goes nothing-** Grissom thought, leaving his office, praying he could convince her to stay.

TBC


End file.
